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More than a couple of years ago now, I fell down a full flight of stairs and broke my wrist in two places. Later, I wrote an article titled, “Treatment of a Compound Fractures; Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy/Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome- Part 1”, then Two and Three, because I was left with severe nerve damage. A fuller story of my fall and all that stuff are in that article. I am NOT a doctor, physical therapist, or anything like that, no, I was a victim. I want to share with you how I dealt with all the things that go with this syndrome and the fact that recovery is indeed there for you.
I ended my last article with:
“I will continue this story under another heading. I received severe nerve damage, Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy/Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome and have had to climb that uphill trail. I am an artist, yes, right handed. It has been difficult, this recovery, but I am able to paint again. My hand will never be the same but I am grateful that I can paint.”
Sounds just a bit dismal doesn’t it? So have I since recovered? Oh my yes and in more ways than one. Is my hand and wrist the same as they were? No, not completely, I will not lie to you. But this is also about your heart and the wounded bird inside you. Reflecting, I do think I could have gotten more use back than I have though, so that in part, is another reason why I am sharing my story. You can get better! You do have to work really hard at it though, no doubt about it. No sissies allowed, or at least that is what I can reflect on now. Lol
Here now I want to relate some of the feelings that I had back then, and my feelings about it all now. If you are suffering from this you are going to relate to a few of the things I write about and I think it will help you to know you are not alone.
7 Tips Toward Recovering YOU again
1) Waa! I Will Never Be The Same! (or so it feels)
You want to cradle your hand don’t you? Hold it close to your body, as if it were still in a cast, to protect it? Cradle it like a wounded bird? Doesn’t it feel that way? No one can touch it and the idea of making ‘it’ do anything is ridiculous! How can they ask such a thing? Right?
2) Physical Therapy
Without physical therapy, in my opinion? You will never recover from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy/Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome, not on your own. You need a coach! I had no health insurance but was actually able to get a scholarship, so wow huh?
The physical therapists asks that you use your wounded bird, that feels like a club at the end of your arm, to do what it had always done before. I write IT because that is what It feels like.. something other than you. It feels like a void at the end of your arm that cannot be asked to turn a door knob, hold a cut, pull open the refrigerator door or even write your name. You are saying to yourself, “Don’t they see?! How can they expect my wounded bird to do anything? I need to protect it!”
The first few times I went to physical therapy I felt I was being asked to do things that the physical therapist did not understand was just too hard for my hand and wrist to do. Did she want to re-break my wrist after all? A list of exercises were given to me to take home and DO several times a day. Opening a cupboard door seemed out of the question even though she asked me to use my hand as I had normally done before. What could she be thinking? would replay in my mind. This club at the end of my arm… no way! I would try though, I would reach with my arm to open a cupboard door and then actually open it with the other hand. It was a good gesture I figured. But, I plotted on and with the help of my physical therapist I gradually saw progress.
3) Doing Your Homework
Your therapist will probably give you a list of exercised to do at home. You must do them! Ya gotta follow a routine, you really do. Morning, noon, and night. There is simply NO putting it off or sliding on this. I tell you this because there is a window of opportunity to get full use back and unless you apply yourself you will miss it. So, NO EXCUSES… NO WAY! At first it is going to feel hopeless. “Why am I doing this?” you may be thinking. In the beginning I could not move my thumb one tiny bit towards my other fingers. Now? I am typing this article. OK? So ya gotta do this no matter how it feels I promise that if you do you will see progress. If you don’t though? You will regret it for the rest of your life… and you don’t have to.
4) Dealing With Depression
Ooof… I understand!
I did not want to get out of bed. I cried constantly and felt I was in mourning for a person that was once me. I knew of course that others in life, have suffered sooo much more than me, have bigger tragedies in their lives, but this was ME! This was MY journey and it had been interrupted and it would never be the same. My wounded bird was also in my heart and I had lost a part of me. Every single time I thought of reaching for something I was reminded of the fact that I was not me anymore. I confess that as an artist, I am a bit of a drama queen, but I have also heard that many people from all walks of life go through the same feelings. You are not alone, know that one day you will be back! When you do get back? You will feel so much better about yourself, because you will have the knowledge that YOU DID IT! YOU SURVIVED! You did what you needed to do and you found a piece of yourself that you did not know was there before. I know.. If you are just at the beginning of this journey you don’t feel that way. Like I said, I could only cry. I was also pretty mean… oh man was I! I felt angry at everyone even though they obviously did not deserve it.
Spend some time outside… feel the wind in your hair (or on your head if you don’t have any, lol). Listen for sounds that are past your own heart. Listen for a single bird and know that it is indeed flying. OK? Hug yourself, you are gonna get through this.
5) Oh the Pain!
It hurts! Dang it really hurts! The more I used my hand the more it hurt, so why use it?
Gads! I had no idea that the pain would last so long. I started going on my computer a lot with just one hand at first.. would not want to try to use my ‘wounded bird’ right? LOL. Later I started using one finger on my pitiful right hand and began making Squidoo lenses. Wikipedia describes Squidoo as a website designed to make it easy for anyone, for free, to set up a single page on a topic he or she knows or cares a lot about. I made almost 100 of them! It was a way of being creative with one hand, what can I say? While doing them though I would actually forget about my pain. I know that sounds crazy. In the beginning I would feel the ache intensely, but as I got my mind absorbed in my Squidoo adventures, I would realize at different points, that I had actually forgotten about it. My body does not do well with pain meds, not even aspirin so forgetting about it was all that I could do. Funny how you can realize all of the sudden that you are feeling pain that you had removed your mind from. Sounds impossible I know.. I just sort of stumbled onto it and it works. I will add though that, “HEY! Don’t dismiss MY PAIN! That makes ya mad doesn’t it? Yeah I get that part too, I really do so I can totally understand what you are thinking as you read this. You are thinking, “Is she NUTS?” Answer to that? Yup! I have to be a little to be an artist after all… lol. My basic point here though is to get yourself and your mind INVOLVED with something, anything to get your mind away from the immediate pain and YOU! Look outside yourself.
6) Recovering
My fingers were always swollen so I cut up pieces of that tape you wrap around your ankle when you have a sprain? I had taped fingers for almost a year, quite the fashion statement huh?! There was something comforting about it though so I did not mind it. It also gave me an excuse to get some sympathy from grocery checkers, who might be impatient, as I tried to write out a check. This was later in my recovery of course, in the beginning I could barely make an X. Soo SEE? There IS Recovery. Recovery takes one single day at a time much like rehab for anything. You will get there I am here to tell you that because I have. Do those exercises and DO use your hand as if it is the same as it ever was. Try to think of it that way, beyond what you feel in your heart and head.
7) Past Recovering
Sometimes when I look back on my experience with Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy/Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome and consider 7 Tips Toward Recovery that are actually many more than seven… oh my yes, I feel downright proud of me. I realize things about me that I had not known before. By a certain age we have all developed a history, and have survived a few things. Those things that we survive? Those tragedies that visit our doorstep? Those are our wounded birds that are there for us to take up, hold close, mend and then release into the sky to fly again. You can do it.
You may be a wounded bird now, but in time, if you choose, you will fly again.
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Source by Kathy Ostman-Magnusen
